Thank you for all of your comments and your patronage. I guess I should go into the story of how I met my current boyfriend. It was my third day here in Tokyo, and I went down to a bar in Harajuku that I had read about that served mostly foreigners. Not being in Japan [...]

People have different sides of themselves they show at different times in different situations and when different people are around. They usually don’t even notice this. You probably don’t even notice. The experience of consciousness is somewhat like a committee of different factions. Each faction is one you’ve created to respond to different circumstances you’ve encountered [...]

Sorry it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with tests and exams and trying to balance my mess of a life. Other than that I’ve actually had some writer’s block.

Welcome to Your-Japan.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

Here’s another bit of common wrong thinking that keeps guys stuck. It rarely gets said openly, but it’s an underlying notion implied in all sorts of pickup literature: the idea that “I gotta be Superman!” That in order to attract a lot of hot women you might think you have to be EXCEPTIONAL in all sorts of [...]

What is beauty? What is attractiveness? What are YOU attracted to? What is the subset of girls in your area that you would like to get on fucking terms with? Silly questions that you already know the answer to? Let me challenge you on that with a personal example. 7th grade: In science class was a girl [...]

Up to now, I’ve written a lot of general advice to help guys come up with their own unique execution style. Although my strength is in the endgame, some have been asking about what the crux of my start-to-finish style actually is. Well, here is what I focus on personally. My pickup method revolves around the [...]

In moving to a new site design, all the of the old page links have been broken and I haven’t had time to fix them. That means all the content is still there, but you have to actually go through the archives month by month (see monthly links to your right) to find it all [...]

Most guys you model after, including perhaps me, are NOT NATURALS. That means they once SUCKED with women. I certainly did. 7 years ago I wouldn’t have had a clue how to lay a girl, who today I could tell in 3 seconds she will be in my bed tonight with 99% confidence. I got [...]

Hello world, This is my first time posting here but I’ve been a reader of a few bloggers on the site. I decided to start writing here because I think that I can get a lot of good feedback or maybe just put my own story out there. I was inspired by a lot of things [...]

John M - Thanks again for your comments. I'm glad you asked, because without anyone asking I can't know what needs more explanation and what people are already convinced of. "To me, ‘keep’ means one of two things here: #1 Lifetime commitment or #2 The man dumps the woman before she dumps him" Agreed. "#2 is easy, because let’s face it, your blog is mainly about how a man can seduce a woman– NOT about how to form a life-long exclusive partnership with a woman." While not the focus of my blog, if I were a betting man I would never bet against a guy armed with the knowledge and understanding detailed here - versus the same guy without it - if he is seriously committed to forming such a life-long partnership. (In other words, assuming for the sake of argument that he can control his urge to stray.) Let me explain why. "With #2, the man keeps the woman as long as he is attracted to her(a few months,perhaps), or if he detects that she is losing interest before he is, he simply looks for new women to seduce before she gets a chance to dump him first." With a man "so armed" (abbreviation based on above), I contend that not only does he have that additional option, but also that the woman is less likely to lose interest first. Explanation below. "Though sex may be an important part of a relationship, to make it the basis of the relationship is to doom it. What happens when the man(or woman) has to go away on a business trips or off to war? Does that woman, who got into the relationship built on lust, wait patiently for months or years for her lust to be satisfied again? Not likely." Looks like I gave the impression that the woman's urge to be satisfied is the main thing keeping her faithful. There are a few more steps in between, which I probably have sometimes left out for brevity (since it's not the focus of the blog). First I will explain what happens in outline, then in detail, and finally why it happens. Outline: Fast sex --> Woman falls in love --> Man can choose to invest the effort to keep her for however long Detailed outline: Fast sex (meaning it feels fast to her; works better if the sex is at least somewhat good) --> Woman has high chance of falling in love (deeply, and with the "balance of power"* tipped firmly to the man's side; explained below) --> Man can choose to invest the effort to keep her for however long (meaning it will mostly only take effort of will on his part, rather than mastery of skills...the skills required are mostly negative: ability to avoid certain pitfalls, rather than positive: ability to pull off feats of seduction like those required at first). And again, this is in terms of comparison with a situation where the sex wasn't fast, and as a result the girl did NOT fall in love as deeply. Possible objection: What if the girl falls in love deeply and the relationship "power" balances toward the man for some other reason, even though they don't have sex fast, or even at all? In that case, the goal has been achieved without the need for fast sex, and that is great and fine as the very same wonderful situation will arise. The reason I espouse what I espouse is that it is the most sure and efficient way of achieving that situation for any given target female. *Meaning the proverbial balance that manifests itself in various stages of the relationship as "who's chasing who" or "who needs who more," which we've all experienced. Part of managing relationships is keeping the balance from getting too tipped to the man's side for too long, and - I would argue (although it's a whole other can of worms) - never letting it get tipped to the woman's side. Reason why: The falling in love is, to the best of my understanding, kicked off by the Cialdinian Consistency Principle (see Chick Psychology in the archives for more details). In other words, it's not that she is hooked on the sex - although that is an unexpectedly fine preamble if it happens - but that she "re-wires" herself to fall in love with you in a way that largely lets you conduct things how you please and covers over a multitude of mistakes you might make. "Look at India, on the other hand where the relationship is typically an arranged marriage built on their cultural values and family, and yet have a divorce rate of around 1%." I certainly agree that cultural values and family ties can be very powerful forces to keep a relationship together. I don't think what I write has anything to say against that. What I am interested in is answering the question, "How can a man get a particular woman into such a relationship with greatest success and highest chance of success?" If you happen to be getting an arranged marriage to a woman who shares those values and who also happens to be just the woman you wanted, that is great (and magnificently good luck). Still I would object that you couldn't really know what you want without experience with many women, but that's a whole other topic. "How do you know your methods can help a man get into a monogamous, lifelong relationship? What studies, or even anecdotes, can you offer to support that claim?" I have been with a great many women, and I have found that the majority of them end up deeply in love with me after sex, especially if I choose to fan those flames initially and nurture it over a period of a few weeks by continuing to meet them and "treating them well" (the details of this are a little different from the common interpretation). The effect is actually strongest for the most conservative ones, by which I mean the ones who seem most aligned to the long-term relationship values you mention, and especially virgins or those who have something against fast sex. I have from time to time chosen to devote full attention to nurturing some of these relationships (even while seeing other women...not a paradox, in that I am using the term "full attention" to entail spending "enough time" on her, rather than "all my time"). Whenever I have done that, even in a somewhat half-assed way, the results have always been what I can only call an EXCEEDINGLY stable arrangement. As an example, there was a really wonderful girl of this type who I saw steadily for several months and then only once a year or so for years. She said back then she would wait for me for the rest of her life, even knowing all the other women I was seeing the whole time, and she remains to this day completely for me. We hardly have much contact nowadays, but whenever we do talk it's clear that she would marry me today if I asked. She doesn't even get emotional about it anymore. That we're right for each other is just something she "knows in her heart of hearts." This is admittedly an extraordinary amount of devotion, and it's not normal for the girl to stay that way for years even when she knows you're off doing other things and have no intention of coming back. To have any guarantee, my experiences show that you generally need to avoid snubbing her. It's not the lack of being together, but the sense that you are CHOOSING not to be with her, so that she can see plainly she is just wasting her time. If she knows you're off fighting a war it's not like that at all. Sure she will wait. She will surely crave sex, but since that's not the reason why she's with you now - it's deep love - she won't be likely to be unfaithful. This is, once again, in comparison to the average relationship, where maybe the woman isn't as "deeply" in love and the balance of power is not so firmly in your favor. And the most obvious and painful example is, what if when her husband is off fighting the war the cable guy comes in and fucks her faster - in a moment of horny weakness - than her husband ever did? Cialdini then works for the cable guy where it never did for her husband and leaves a larger imprint on her, really shaking things up in her mind. I have been the "cable guy" - not for a married woman but for one with a boyfriend who I didn't know about at first - and it does shake things up when you lay a girl faster than she's ever been laid before. She may stay with the boyfriend but lust after you...it's not a pretty situation for the boyfriend especially. He generally just gets more and more suspicious and insecure until things fall apart, or else gets enough hooks in her to actually keep her but everyone is not as happy as they could be. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's not fun, which is one reason I learned what I learned. "How often have you had one or your favorite girls lose interest in you first?" After having sex twice I don't think this has ever happened. I have had it fall apart after that in at least one case, but that was because I failed in managing relationship expectations. In all other cases, I had started to lose at least some amount of interest and let it show in my actions before anything changed at the girl's end. And usually, I can let it show a lot before anything even starts to change. Plus if she starts to get iffy there is almost always plenty of warning, usually in the form of an ultimatum that she won't stay unless we're properly boyfriend and girlfriend (which usually can be stretched for a few weeks, or often indefinitely). "Do you try to rekindle that relationship, or do you simply her fade away since you have other girls to choose from?" Well, the "flame" never goes out first. That just doesn't happen. What can happen is only that the girl feels I'm not treating her right or something, first. Then of course as a reaction the flame could eventually go out, but it never has happened in reverse. When you maintain sexual leverage (sounds a bit evil, but it's just meant as a summary of the concept outlined in the blog) the flame stays alive unless and until the girl feels like she's being played or wasting her time looking for boyfriendiness from you. In the same way, a man will stay attracted to a woman in the reverse situation - where he is courting a woman and she is giving dates but no sex - unless and until he feels he's just being messed with and she's never going to go for him. In both cases, the flame doesn't die out until the point one party feels it's a waste of time, which nearly always happens gradually so that it's fully preventable by the other party if, for example, the courted woman decides to actually have sex, or even let the man progress a little bit toward it. Same things works in both directions. Hope that clears things up. I think this has been a valuable discussion for readers as well. The "ultimate goal" is something to keep in mind even for those who are just of a mind to play around for now - it's not necessary to see all this as something disconnected from the set of skills you'll be needed once you settle down. The fundamentals are fundamental to all aspects of male-female interaction, and once properly understood they will serve you well for the duration of your life.

Amanojack, I am glad that you were able to acknowledge that your method may make it harder for a man to stay faithful to the woman of his dreams once he gets her. The man who has used the methods discussed in your blogs to get her has already likely programmed his mind in a certain promiscuous manner that would then require him a much more daunting task of rewiring his brain for faithfulness and commitment in a relationship. I would like you to also acknowledge that the woman may not stay faithful to the man even with your methods. Let's take a look at your claim that your methods will help a man get and keep the woman of his dreams. By saying "'keep' the woman of his dreams", how long is meant by 'keep'? To me, 'keep' means one of two things here: #1 Lifetime commitment or #2 The man dumps the woman before she dumps him Since you have already established in your blogs that you do not have the experience of a lifelong monogamous relationship with a woman, and since you have not even offered any such anecdotes of men who have acquired a wife using such methods, you cannot refer to "keep" as #1. #2 is easy, because let's face it, your blog is mainly about how a man can seduce a woman-- NOT about how to form a life-long exclusive partnership with a woman. With #2, the man keeps the woman as long as he is attracted to her(a few months,perhaps), or if he detects that she is losing interest before he is, he simply looks for new women to seduce before she gets a chance to dump him first. Though sex may be an important part of a relationship, to make it the basis of the relationship is to doom it. What happens when the man(or woman) has to go away on a business trips or off to war? Does that woman, who got into the relationship built on lust, wait patiently for months or years for her lust to be satisfied again? Not likely. Look at India, on the other hand where the relationship is typically an arranged marriage built on their cultural values and family, and yet have a divorce rate of around 1%. You can say all you want about "human nature" or "animal nature", but How do you know your methods can help a man get into a monogamous, lifelong relationship? What studies, or even anecdotes, can you offer to support that claim? How often have you had one or your favorite girls lose interest in you first? Do you try to rekindle that relationship, or do you simply her fade away since you have other girls to choose from? I'm not trying to say that I have all the answers or anything. I am looking for answers. After all, I likely would not be reading your blog if I were satisfied with my own situation.

I'm glad you updated! Quite an interesting scenario you are setting up. I just can't see what he did to make you want to date him. Right now he is coming off as a douche and now you are his girlfriend.... Hmm He better have gotten down on his knees and begged. lol I still think you and Fujiomi should be together. What about him?? Is there any hope?!

大変だよね。 リュウスケ君はアデゥビナの事が好きだと思う？ あたしにとってそう思う。 彼氏の事は、まぁ大変ヨゥ。東京にいたと時いつもあたしの彼氏が話したかったけど時々無理なんだ、分かってる。 頑張ってね。 どちらにしても楽しんで！

Oh I see (just saw that you have a bf), no wonder you're feeling a little cautious about that Ryuusuke guy =) Btw, did your bf ever explain about not being online?

sam - The whole idea of sexual state is that you don't need to talk about anything special. Sensual topics can be used if the sexual state fails to get her hot enough, but that's a whole other topic (verbal seduction). There is info on that topic in the archives. A quick example is talking about music, parlaying that into talking about physical sensations, then about making out. Of course you don't just talk about making out in general, but couch it in the form of a story about someone or yourself. That's verbal seduction, which is another can of worms to explain. As for sexual topics, I've never found the risk vs. payoff to be worth it. You can get a girl hotter by talking about making out or other sensual or peripheral things than about actual sex. Even when girls want to phone sex or something, I've found it's best not to go explicitly sexual but to imply stuff only. If it's not good for phone sex, it sure isn't needed for seduction. HOWEVER, being open to talk about sex casually IF IT COMES UP is great if you can not bat an eye when talking about it. Sexual jokes and such can be useful, but take practice to calibrate. Not my area of expertise so I can't comment on that very usefully. Anyway, to sum up, sexual state is about using your imagination and not expressing that explicitly through words but letting it come through in subtle ways in your manner, eye contact, etc. - not consciously or directly. Verbal seduction is a whole other thing, which is not usually required if the sexual state works like it's supposed to.

Sweet. Thanks. Aj, question: Could you give some examples on sexual conversation/topic/questions that can escalate things? Sexual state is awesome... but do we need those sexual conversation as well?

Do you mean the day after? The day after she was fine. She's very strong so she doesn't get hangovers or anything like that. So lucky! Thanks for reading :)

Wow, exciting times! I hope you can be friends with this guy, as he sounds quite nice, without him being a creeper and coming on to you all the time. The boyfriend's not being good about making contact? That sucks a lot - when you only have limited times when you can talk to/be with another person and they don't make the effort to be available. Still, he seems like a good guy to me?

It's great to hear from you!! How was Dixie the day before? I'm glad you are also having lots of good times there ^^